What Happens Now?
by Tenno-Megumi
Summary: Renji made a huge mistake, and now Ichigo is gone. What happens when he dies in an accident? What happens when he becomes a permanent soul reaper? What happens to their love they lost? RenjixIchigo Reversible. M for a reason.
1. Why Do You Hurt Me?

**Summary: **Renji made a huge mistake, and now Ichigo is gone, he's living his life. What happens when he dies in an accident? What happens when he becomes a permanent soul reaper? What happens to their love they lost? RenjixIchigo. M for a reason.

**Meg: **Well I'm back with a new story, these brats don't have any ideas for my Naruto stories so I decided to write some Bleach fics and this is what happened. I actually think this one will turn out good for a random fic.  
><strong>Kyu: <strong>It ain't our fault we can't find a slip of imagination in your brain!  
><strong>Shi:<strong> Whatever.  
><strong>Meg:<strong> What's his issue? O.o  
><strong>Kyu:<strong> University is kicking his ass...  
><strong>Meg:<strong> Oh... O.o  
><strong>Shi: <strong> Shut up I'm trying to study! By the way Meg doesn't own Bleach as much as she'd like. She doesn't own Naruto either for that matter. In fact she doesn't own any anime and never, ever, ever will!  
><strong>Meg and Kyu: <strong>*shivering in a corner* So cold and heartless...

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><p>Renji sat blind to the world going on around him seireitei. He couldn't stop thinking about the past, but it hadn't been this bad in a long time. When the warning bells went off he leapt to his feet, the senior officer meeting bell ringing in his ears as he raced to the officer meeting hall.<p>

To put it simply, Renji was terribly, irrevocably angry at himself. 'Why did I say that? Why did I say all those things? What could I have done differently? Why?' He thought to himself. Shoving those thoughts aside he had to concentrate on his duties as a captain of the Gotei 13. They still had to fill the position of taicho of the 3rd division.

After the war with Aizen, life had been hard with 3 captains missing, thankfully most thought, that Renji and Shuhei were ready to step up and take the captain's positions. Shuhei was now captain of the 9th division in his former captain Tosen's place. Renji took over the 5th division in the stead of the traitor Aizen. Needless to say keeping the divisions morale after such a blow was difficult. Renji caught the familiar name spoke and jerked his head up.

"What?" He said incredulously. "Say that again?"

"Abarai-taicho! That is no way to speak to Yamamato-sou-taichou!" Soi Fon growled. Renji could care less.

Unperturbed, the head captain repeated himself. "Urahara Kisuke and Shihoin Yorouichi have informed me that Kurosaki Ichigo has passed away in a horrible accident."

"How…" Renji choked. 'No… How… He can't die! Not now! I'll never see him again.'

"Calm down Renji." Rukia whispered softly. "Your reiatsu is pulsing, control it. Listen."

"Hai, Kuchiki-fukutaicho." Renji whispered back formally.

"It seems that Kurosaki Ichigo was noble to the core." The head captain continued. "Shortly after returning to his body at the Urahara Shoten, there was a fire in a nearby apartment complex. The firefighters could not reach a little girl in the uppermost apartment and Kurosaki-san took the initiative to save her. He saved her by shielding her with his own body. He suffered third degree burns on the way up and couldn't do more than fling the both of them out the window of the 8th story. Due to the burns and the fact he was in his human body, the impact shattered his spine and cracked his skull. The little girl was unharmed because Kurosaki shielded her using reiatsu. Urahara Kisuke and Shihoin Yorouichi stand to testify to this."

It was at that moment Renji noticed the two standing to the side. Urahara was wearing all black, as was Yorouichi. She was uncharacteristically showing emotion by sobbing into Urahara's shoulder.

"That is exactly what I saw, Yamamato-sou-taicho." He whispered. "He lived his human life as a hero, down to the very unexpected end." Ukitake, never one to miss a detail, stood forward.

"You said his human life? What do you mean Kisuke?" Ukitake said slowly as he stepped forward.

"Yes, what do you mean?" Unohana stood forward.

"Well, I simply mean that now, like any other human who has died, he will be somewhere in the Rukon-gai district. Since he died near my shop I would think he ended up in the West district. All we have to do is simply find him. He'll most likely have retained all of his memories and he'll still be a shinigami, just now he'll be a real one, rather than a substitute." Urahara said calmly.

"Then why is Yorouichi-sama crying so much?" Soi Fon asked. Yorouichi looked up.

"I'm still being affected by the tears of his family members and friends. His human funeral was mere hours ago. It was too much to bear, not being able to tell some of them that he was still alive."

"I see…" She replied.

"Urahara, why did you not inform me of this sooner?" Yamamato looked rather angry.

"It merely dawned on me just before the funeral." Urahara replied calmly. "Well, is anyone going to look for hi—"

He was cut off as a group of captains and lieutenants took off for the West Rukon-gai District.

XXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Ichigo lay in the grass, groaning. He'd lacked the strength to move for 2 days now. He knew he was dead of course, but he hadn't eaten and his reiatsu was weakened. However, he wasn't sure he wanted to move. If he got up, he would most likely have to go to Seireitei, because he still had his shinigami abilities, seeing as Zangetsu was laying right beside him.

'But,' Ichigo thought. 'I don't want to go because HE'S there. I haven't seen him… In 9 years.' Ichigo rolled onto his side groaning. 'I'm 29 years old and I can't get over a little heart break… Besides it's not like anyone cares about me anyway.'

: Maybe it isn't heartbreak you're trying to escape. And people do care for you.: Zangetsu spoke in his head.

"What would it be then, and who?" Ichigo spoke out loud defensively.

: You forget I live in your head, gaki.: Zangetsu replied calmly. : You're trying to escape the fact that you still love him. And for one, your family, Rukia and me.:

"I do not love him!" Ichigo growled and sat up. Slumping he gave up, resting his head on his arms which were around his knees. "Oh who am I kidding…"

: Only yourself.: Zangetsu quipped before settling back into quietness. Ichigo groaned.

"Ichigo!" A loud, feminine, familiar voice yelled.

Snapping his head up in surprise he looked at the people running up, he hadn't been paying any attention to incoming reiatsu's. "Rukia!"

As she dove down to hug him, Ichigo glanced at everyone there. Ikkaku and Yumichika stood doubled over, panting. Zaraki Kenpachi stood grinning like the crazy demon he is, Shuhei grinned at him, sweat dripping down the 3 scars on his face. He caught the glances of Unohana-taicho, Hanataro was panting beside her. Matsumoto Rangiku grinned at him and winked, her hand intertwined with Shuhei's.

"What are you doing here?" He asked surprised, looking at Rukia and the others.

"Why wouldn't we be here?" Ichigo stiffened at the cold voice. "You went and got yourself killed. Why wouldn't we be here to beat you?"

"Renji!" Rukia snapped. "Why the hell would you say that?"

"Don't." Ichigo whispered with downcast eyes. "Let's just go back to seireitei."

As they walked Ichigo let himself fall behind to be separate from the happy, laughing group. He wanted some time to his thoughts. 'Was he just there to be cruel to me? Like that day?' He thought to himself. 'Would the man I loved really do that?' Ichigo shook his head and blinked back tears that he knew were threatening to fall.

"Hurry up, Kurosaki." That same cold voice spoke, right next to him. Ichigo nearly jumped out of his skin. "You're falling behind."

"Just leave me alone Renji. I know my way around Soul Society after spending almost 5 years fighting here." Ichigo said softly.

Snorting Renji looked at Ichigo. "You spent most of that time in the infirmary."

Seething Ichigo stopped, forcing Renji to turn and look at him. Ichigo saw an imperceptible emotion flicker in Renji's eyes but it was gone and the walls were down like that. "I did more than you did you cocky bastard. Why do you insist on causing me even more pain! I trusted you once! At one time I cared for your stupid dumb ass!"

"I never cared for you." Renji whispered and walked away.

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><p>Well let me know what you think! I'm always up for hearing some good news! Feed meh your loves!<p> 


	2. Why Did I Say That?

**Meg: **Okay so here's chapter 2, this was so hard to write. I can't believe I'm doing this to my poor Ichigo! My poor, poor baby... You can't kill me though! I'm not doing this to Toshiro...  
><strong>Shi: <strong>Woman, would you let me study?  
><strong>Kyu: <strong>Apaparently not... So I guess you have to deal Shi-kun. Anyway Meg doesn't own Bleach, only this plot. Which I quite like!  
><strong>Meg: <strong>Only because you forced me to write a story for this pairing after hearing that song... OH by the way this story is kinda a song fic hehe. It's inspired by "If She Could See Me Now" by Jason Aldean!

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><p>Ichigo stood stiff as Renji walked away from him, his words like a dagger piercing his heart. He couldn't breathe, and he couldn't speak. He couldn't form a coherent thought. So he did what his instincts told him, he ran. He took off as fast as he could, running past Renji, breaking through the center of the group and kept running.<p>

Ichigo felt his reiatsu flare wildly and painfully, matching his emotions. He felt the tears stinging his cheeks. Without even thinking he was running to the most secluded place he could think of – Sokyoku Hill. He vaguely felt the reiatsu's following him but quickly started to mask his, something he learned to do in the human world not so long ago. Upon entering far enough into the trees to stay hidden he collapsed to his knees.

Gasping for breath Ichigo tried to stop the flood of emotions over his senses, but it was an impossible feat. 'Why does this hurt so much… ?' He thought to himself. 'Why do I have to love such a bastard… Why…'

**'Ya gotta admit he was a good fuck.' **Shirosaki whispered in Ichigo's mind.

: Get out of here now, Hollow.: Zangetsu stated coldly. : Gaki, Renji didn't mean it.:

"Like hell he didn't!" Ichigo choked out in a half yell. "You don't say something like that and not mean it!"

: Gaki…: Zangetsu's voice was a soft whisper. : Zabi—: He was interrupted.

"Ichigo…" Ichigo looked up, startled, into saddened violet eyes. "What happened?"

"Just the bastard being the bastard he is." Ichigo spat, wiping viciously at his eyes.

"What did Renji say?" Rukia asked calmly. But her eyes spoke of a conflict. She couldn't think of anything Renji could say that would make Ichigo like this. Not if Renji loved him like he says he does.

"Just that he never cared for me." Ichigo growled. "Just being as cruel as he was when we broke up. Just being as cold hearted as he always will be."

"Oh Ichigo," Rukia pulled him into a hug and hummed soflty. "it's okay… I'm here. You can cry."

"Why do I have to love that bastard, Rukia? Why can't my heart let go? Why does my reiatsu still reach for his?" Ichigo asked softly into Rukia's shoulder when he'd stopped crying again. "Why do I still have to feel this way?"

"I don't know Ichigo… We'll figure it out some day." Rukia felt something in her resolve stiffen, she felt her muscles tighten. 'Renji,' She thought vehemently. 'I will rip you to shreds.'

XXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Renji didn't say anything as he saw Ichigo speed past him. He tried not to see the glistening in soft, yet wise and pained eyes. He tried not to feel the reiatsu that pulsed, speaking in volumes of the pain the owner was going through.

He saw Rukia speed after the shinigami, trailing far enough behind to give him time. When the group turned to look at him he just passed them and didn't stop. He heard Matsumoto scoff; he saw the anger in Yumichika and Ikkaku's eyes. He saw the scowl on Shuhei's face. He kept his face impassive, the walls shielding his eyes as he relieved the past, walking blindly to his quarters. The quarters that he used to plan on sharing with Ichigo.

_He walked into the house, a pained expression on his face. He couldn't believe he was going to do this. He couldn't believe he was going to break his one love's heart, he had to do this and go back to soul society for good. He stopped just outside his and Ichigo's bedroom door. He took a deep breath and opened it to find Ichigo sprawled across the bed, a drowsy look across his face, wet hair ruffled on the sky blue pillow case, bare chested in his boxers. Renji felt his heart jump into throat._

_"Renji.. .You're home." Ichigo gave him a lazy smile. "Come lay down with me, I'm sleepy."_

_"Ichigo." Renji said in a soft, calm, emotionless voice. Not unlike Kuchiki Byakuya's. _

_"Renji? What's wrong?" Ichigo sat up, worried into wakefulness._

_"I was promoted." Renji said, without a smile, his reiatsu clamped down firmly._

_"What? That's great Renji! Why are you so upset?" Ichigo exclaimed, jumping to his feet._

_"Ichigo. I won't be staying in the living world anymore." He said, trying not to say what he meant outright._

_A little bit of confusion crossed Ichigo's face. "Okay…" He said slowly. "We can make this work, I'll come visit you in Soul Society, nothing too hard with Urahara here." He smiled again._

_Renji sighed under his breath. He forced himself to clamp his reiatsu down harder and looked straight into Ichigo's eyes, putting ever bit of coldness into the gaze as he could. He saw the shocked look in Ichigo's face, yet again. "Ichigo. It's over."_

_"W-what?" Ichigo whispered, pain flashing across his sharp, gorgeous features._

_"I said it's over. Between you and me. I'm a captain now. I can't date you. Besides, you'll only drag me down." Renji gritted out every word in that cold, calm voice that would have even Kuchiki Byakuya on edge._

_Ichigo sat on the bed. A horrified expression was on his face, so full of betrayal and hurt. "Is that what you really think… Abarai-taicho…" He said, deceptively calmly._

_"Yes." Renji barely managed that one word. His mind kept screaming 'No!' and Zabimaru was silent but he could feel the anger flow in through their link. He saw Ichigo gulp heavily. He could feel the pounding in the reiatsu around him, he could see the pain in his lover's – ex-lover's, he corrected – face. He saw the white knuckles clenching the bed sheet and he forced his voice to continue, betraying nothing of his internal conflict. "I don't care for you anymore. It was fun while it lasted."_

_"How could you?" Ichigo shook with tears unshed. "You led me on; you made me feel like I was loved. Like I was needed!" Renji's mind screamed in pain, 'You are loved, you are needed!'_

_Renji stayed silent as Ichigo continued. "How could you Renji… I put my heart and soul into this, I gave you EVERYTHING… You had my first everything… Why would you do this… I thought we had something…" Ichigo choked on the sobs trying to force their way out, and he refused to glance up._

_"You put too much into things. Love is a myth." Renji's voice was cold and calculated. 'I can't. Why am I saying this? What am I doing?' His mind shoved harder against the block Renji put up._

_"Get out… Get out and don't come back!" Ichigo looked up, tears streaking down his cheeks. "Leave me then, if that's what you want. Just go. Get out!"_

_Renji simply turned, his whole being fighting him every step as he moved further away. His mind screaming again, fighting, 'This isn't what I want! I love you, only you! Please, Ichigo, forgive me!'_

Renji pounded his fist on the wall in anger. 'Damn that man to hell! Why did I let him do this to me! Why did I let him force me to break Ichigo's heart! Why did I say that!' He started to mentally beat himself up. That is, until his door slammed open, revealing a very, very angry Kuchiki with violet eyes.

"Renji." The way she said it sent fear screaming down his spine and Renji stiffened. "You. Will. Explain." And Renji dropped to his knees and let his head fall against the wall, the pain he'd held back for so long, finally crashing into him.


	3. If He Could See Me Now

**Meg: **Okay I feel good after this chapter lol. But there's still so much to tell!  
><strong>Shi: <strong>Let me study dammit!  
><strong>Kyu:<strong> Meg... the rage meter's spiking! *Shi growling in the background*  
><strong>Meg:<strong> Shiz! Okay guys I don't own Bleach, only this plot! Gotta run!

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><p>"Rukia…" Renji choked, forcing his tears not to fall.<p>

"Renji! I thought you loved him!" Rukia growled. "How can you make him feel like that? The amount of pain he feels brought me to my knees!"

Renji stiffened. 'I… He's feeling so much pain because of me… Enough it's spilling over into his reiatsu… Enough that other people get affected by it…' Renji felt something tear inside his chest. He hung his head, tears silently streaming down his eyes.

"I don't know… I don't Rukia… I… I can't take it back though… What I had to say got said… He's better off without me!" Renji shook harder with each word until he shuddered to a stop, breathing hard.

"Renji…" Rukia's voice was soft. "I can tell you don't want to do this, but I swear to god if you don't stop I will rip you to shreds and feed you to Mayuri-taicho's bankai."

Renji looked up into soft yet angry violet eyes, paling at the thought. "I'll stop…"

Rukia nodded and walked out without a backward glance. Renji sat back against the wall. He groaned softly. 'Zabimaru… What do I do?' Renji thought to himself as he tipped his head backwards.

: Ya should get over what that stupid captain told you and follow your heart.: Zabimaru growled. : I know you better than you know you.:

'That made no sense…' Renji thought, biting his lip. 'The second part I mean.'

: I spend a bit more time in yer head than you do, kid.: Zabimaru stated exasperatedly. : I can feel your reiatsu whenever you're near Zangetsu's kid. You want him, you need him. Not just physically, mentally and emotionally too. He was your grounding point, your reference point. He was what held you down, and you let that captain bully you into leaving it all behind.:

"I… see…" Renji whispered. "Thank you Zabimaru."

'Oh… If only he could see me now,' Renji thought softly, to himself this time. 'Maybe it's not too late to turn this around…'

XXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Ichigo stood, simply staring at the head captain. Snapping out of his shocked daze, he whispered. "You want me to what?"

"I want you to lead division 3, I know you can function well leading a group of people and that you can handle yourself quite well as a Shinigami. Kuchiki Rukia has informed me of your impressive increase in your Kido skill and Reiatsu control, so I have no reason to hold you back." The head captain took a breath then continued. "Your judgment, however odd it may be, has yet to cause serious harm in the long run. The only thing I will require is that you actually take lessons in the law of Soul Society while performing your duties, you will be provided tutelage under Kuchiki Byakuya."

"I… I don't know what to say." Ichigo stuttered a moment. He knew there was only 1 reason he was getting this position. 6 captains had recommended him and 3 more had agreed upon the descision. He knew one person who wasn't approving when he heard Mayuri-taicho whisper under his breath, "Dammit, I wanted to experiment on him until he turned to spirit particles from the strain…"

"You simply say I accept, or I do not accept." Yamamoto stated. "It's a simple statement, I would think."

"I-I accept." Ichigo said, staring dumbly at the head captain.

"That settles this matter. This concludes the meeting for the day." The captains left slowly, some of them congratulating Ichigo, others just nodding their ascent. Izuru Kira came up to him, smiling.

"Thank you, for accepting this job. I welcome you to the squad and I am happy to serve as your lieutenant." He handed Ichigo the folded white haori slowly, smiling, with what seemed like a relieved look on his face. Ichigo unfolded the haori slowly, staring at the symbol for the third division. He blinked, and slowly his dazed mind started to work again, as he ran his finger through the strokes of the kanji. He slid the haori over his uniform and walked out of the 1st division barracks, Kira following a step behind him.

"So are you going to go meet your new division?" Kira smiled, and Ichigo nodded slowly, deciding meeting them fast would be the best option.

"Yea, Kira, would you mind going ahead and calling the division to the training grounds? I'd like to have a few minutes to think about what I'm going to say." Ichigo put on a smile for the man's sake, and Kira nodded, running off to follow the request. Ichigo let out the breath he'd been holding in.

"Congratulations Ichigo." Ichigo stiffened as the person he least wanted to see right now intruded on his thoughts. "I'm glad they chose to make you captain."

"Thank you, Abarai-taicho. Well, if you'd excuse me I'm about to meet my new division…" As Ichigo started to move off, Renji darted out and grabbed his arm.

"Wait, Ichigo please." He felt Ichigo stiffen and felt his reiatsu reverberate with barely controlled fear as he turned to look at him. "Ichigo… I wanted to tell you I'm sorry for the way I've been acting… The way I acted then...The way I hurt you... You didn't deserve that."

Renji stopped speaking when he saw Ichigo's face. Ichigo knew his eyes betrayed the uncaring set of his mouth. He knew his eyes spoke of betrayal running too deep to fathom, of the pain he'd suffered in Renji's wake, of the attempts he tried to ease the gaping hole in his heart Renji left him with when he decided to end what they had. Ichigo knew Renji saw all of this, in that one instant before he jerked away and took off running. Panting, Ichigo slipped into the 3rd Division's Captains Office. He straightened his uniform and ran his fingers through his already tousled orange hair. Kira looked up, slightly startled, but when he noticed it was Ichigo he stiffened into salute.

"Kira, You've known me for 14 years, you don't have to salute me just because I'm your captain now. It's only a rank, I'm the same person I've been this whole time." Ichigo sighed.

"Hai, Taicho." Kira said stiffly, then noticing Ichigo's exasperated expression he grinned. "Alright, Taicho, the division's ready for you. Most of them remember you from the Winter War, but some of the others are new, did you know that they teach a class on you at the Academy now?"

"Really? I didn't do much…" Ichigo blinked, slightly surprised. Kira snorted.

"Coming from the man who broke into Seireitei and destroyed the Sokyoku, single handedly defeated Jin Kariya,-"

"I did that because I had to." Ichigo interrupted.

"And continued on to defeat mutltiple Arrancar and Espada, followed by ending the Winter War." He continued unpertby the interruption. Ichigo growled. "Anyway, the troops are ready for you to talk to them.

"Alright then." Ichigo followed Kira out the doors to the side of the office, which opened to a path that led to the barracks. Ichigo took a deep breath to compose himself one last time and stepped into the small pavilion that housed his division. With his face schooled into the look of calm indifference with a slight stern scowl he had learned to adopt while working with new interns at his dad's clinic, he faced his division. He knew he had to look intimidating as a breeze blew into the silent and still pavilion, causing is uniform and haori to swirl lightly around him.

"I believe most of you know who I am, and I know I've had the pleasure to fight with some of you during the winter war. But for those who don't, I am Kurosaki Ichigo, ex-substitute Shinigami, now full time shinigami as well as the new captain of this division." Ichigo took a deep, indiscrete breath.

"I recognize many faces here right now, and I hope we can all work together soon. I know the morale of this division has been less than satisfactory in the last 9 years, but with new leadership and the familiarity of our Kira-fukutaicho, I think we can find a way to find pride in our division yet again. I am not Ichimaru Gin, and I do not want to be feared by you. I am simply the commander of this force and I don't you to respect me until I've earned it, but I expect you to heed me, because I have experience, far more than I should. But that doesn't stop the fact I have it. Does anyone have any concerns to be voiced?" Ichigo stopped and glanced around the yard, waiting for the things he knew were going to be voiced. But he was surprised when his speech was met with cheers and a clap on the back from Kira.

Ichigo smiled. "I'll be glad to work with you men and women, and I hope you feel the same." With that he turned and strode back to his office, Kira trailing close behind him. 'If he could see me now…' Ichigo thought grimly behind his mask. 'Maybe he wouldn't have treated me like that.'

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><p><strong>AN:** Okay that was good lol I'm not dissappointed at all with that!

By the way, read and review, it inspires me to write more lol.

**And thank you to all my lovely supporters! Especially my reviewers:**  
><strong>Maru de Kusanagi<strong>  
><strong>DURRBALAAM<strong>  
><strong>Rock4Rox<strong>  
><strong>BBQkitten<strong>  
><strong>Bakura Apeiron<strong>


	4. What's Going On?

**Warnings: **Mature content, angst, and if you like Byakuya I'm sorry but I made it less bad, it could have been worse to be honest!

**Meg:** Okay this chappie made me feel a little bad so I'm warning you about angst now...  
><strong>Shi:<strong> Feel happy, I took the time off my break from studying to help write this!  
><strong>Kyu:<strong> *pouting* I didn't get much chance to help... My specialty is the funny or happy stuff...  
><strong>Shi:<strong> But that's why I love y- I mean we love you... Yea I mean we! *turning bright red*  
><strong>Meg:<strong> Okay then *sweatdrop* well I don't own Bleach, but I do own this plot...  
><strong>Kyu:<strong> *pink cheeks* Enjoy the story!

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><p>Renji sat back, groaning as he shoved paperwork to the side of his desk. This was taking forever, and it was all stupid complaints from one place or another. One of Ukitake's divison got in a fight with one of Renji's division and both Byakuya and Zaraki's divisions got involved, resulting in a huge bar fight. The damages had to be paid for one way or another and everyone was claiming it wasn't their divisions fault. The Head Captain was bound to be displeased.<p>

The rest of the paperwork he had done involved random bits and quips between seated officers and unseated officers within his division, and he couldn't help but want to bash people's heads in at the moment. Sighing he stood up and popped his back, grabbed Zabimaru, and marched off. His trek was short lived, seeing as that as soon as he was outside of the 5th's quarters and into the streets of Seireitei, he walked right into Rangiku, who – like Rukia – didn't take to kindly to the way he had acted towards Ichigo.

"Abarai-taichou!" She yelled, not giving him time to recover. "How dare you treat Ichigo-kun in such a manner! I remember the time when you could barely be separated and you ended that! You did enough to that poor—"

"Rangiku-san. Shut up." Renji snarled vehemently, interrupting the blonde woman's tirade. "You know absolutely nothing of what went on between us and I expect you to act like it."

"Oh-ho!" She glared at the red head. "Then explain it to me, _taicho._"

Huffing in rage, Renji grabbed Matsumoto and dragged her off to the 11th, where he grabbed Ikkaku and Yumichika. He threw the three into Ikakku's room and told them to stay put, before he Fast Stepped away to grab Hisagi and Rukia.

"Alright, shut up all of you." He snarled. "Rukia you already know this so just stay quiet but I'll probably need you."

The room was quiet as they stared, shocked, at the red head's shaking form. Even with his head hanging everyone could see the barely visibly drip of tears down his cheeks.

"Renji… Don't do this to yourself." Rukia whispered, her eyes cast down. "Nii-sama might hurt you…"

"No… It's okay… He's long past that point…" Renji choked. "He doesn't care about this anymore… He got what he wanted… Payback for being close to you then leaving you. Even if that changed to the wish only to see me go farther in my career…"

"But you didn't leave me Renji! Just because you and Ichigo—"

"Rukia… I'll be fine. He did what he thought was right at the time." Renji didn't once lift his eyes from the floor. The room stayed silent through the exchange, however many worried to curious glances were passed between the other four occupants.

"I… I loved Ichigo… I still do…" Renji started off, in a quiet whisper. " I don't know when it started, it might have been the first time he beat me in Soul Society, or when we trained to get our Bankai together… But whenever it was, it was fast and quick. We didn't get together until after Aizen was defeated… I… He and I got drunk, and things came out we didn't know ourselves… But afterwards… We were happy… We were unbelievably happy.

"Life couldn't have gotten better for us, but you know what they say… once you're at the top there's no place to go but down… And that's just what happened…" Renji fell to his knees and Rukia rushed to him, the tension in the room so tight you could feel it. Still shaking, Renji continued on. "Kuchiki-taichou confronted me, while I was still his lieutenant. He came out of the shadows…"

_He walked down the quiet streets of Karakura town, after just leaving Urahara's shoten. He couldn't be any happier. He just finished his mission, he was informed that there was an important matter to discuss the next time he was in Soul Society, and he was going back home to his beautiful, orange haired lover. As he was passing an alley a dark figure grabbed him and shoved him backwards into a dumpster._

_"What the fu—" Renji started, until a hand was slammed over his mouth._

_"Abarai-fukutaicho." A calm, emotionless voice stated. "You will be promoted to captain and under no terms are you to reject this promotion."_

_"Kuchiki-taicho…" Renji's startled, muffled, gasp came from behind the cool, pale hand over his mouth._

_"You will go home and tell your lover…" The voice whispered in his ear, as Renji felt a lick slide over the shell of his ear. "That you have been promoted. You will break up with him, telling him that he will only hold you back, that it was fun while it lasted. You may even tell him you've found someone better than he is…" Each sentence was punctuated with a sensual touch or caress, or a soft grind of hips._

_Kuchiki Byakuya leaned back from Renji, lust clear in his eyes. Renji stiffened, unable to break the hold on him that his captain had. "After that, you will be mine. For the second time."_

_Renji fought to get away but his captain had too good of a hold. "You shouldn't fight me. I can make the same thing happen to your ex-lover." Renji saw an emotion almost imperceptible pass behind those black eyes. Only later would he realize that it was guilt._

Renji couldn't continue reliving that experience. He fell against Rukia, gasping for breath as sobs overtook him, his reiatsu flaring multiple times.

"That's why he broke up with Ichigo… Nii-sama failed an attempt at courting Renji-kun after that… He was trying to keep Renji from being held back by a human lover… But 4 years ago he couldn't do it anymore and broke down and told Renji… Renji only told me a few days ago, after he had said something stupid to Ichigo…" Rukia trailed off, having ran out of things to say.

The room was silent for a few moments, until Rangiku noticed the exhausted look in Renji's eyes. 'I can't imagine what that took out of him to tell us…' Rangiku sighed softly and nudged Ikkaku, who took the hint.

"Renji… The spare futon is in the back room… Come here and sleep it off…" He went over to the surprised and startled red head, dragging him off to the back room.

"Why didn't he go back to Ichigo after that?" Rangiku whispered, to make sure Renji didn't hear.

Sighing, Rukia replied just as softly, "Because he didn't feel like he was good enough for Ichigo anymore. He couldn't expect to be welcomed after what he said, even though it was forced…"

"I'm going to beat the bloody pulp out of Kuchiki-taicho…" Hisagi growled.

"No… Don't… Renji wouldn't want that. That's why he didn't turn him in." Rukia sighed. "Besides… You'd be the one in the infirmary Shuhei-san."

Shuhei growled in response and crossed his arms over his chest, just as Ikkaku walked back into the room, an unreadable expression on his face as he spoke, almost worriedly.

"I've never seen Renji like this. I never thought he'd be the one to let something like this happen to him. I just… It makes me mad!" He finished the statement almost vehemently. The whole group just sighed and a couple of them stared off to the room that Ikkaku had come out of. Through the crack in the door, only Rukia caught the soft shaking of the supposedly sleeping redhead's shoulders. She thought to herself, with concern, 'These two… I can't fathom what's going on…"

**'Aibou! Wake up!'**

Ichigo blinked and sat up, taking in the fact that he was sitting on the side of a building with ease. "Shiro? What do you want?" Ichigo said, slightly startled at the sight before him. Zangetsu stood, holding Shirosaki up as he slumped, panting and gasping.

**'Aibou! They're back! I can sense them while you're asleep! They… They're coming for you!' **Shiro collapsed and was absorbed back into Zangetsu's flowing coat.

"Zangetsu…. What was that about?" Ichigo asked startled.

: I don't know… All he said was he had to talk to you and he was a mess. It looked like spiritual pressure that was doing that to him but… I don't know for sure. It sounds serious. : The old man said in a monotone.

"I… How do I warn the others? They'll want to know why I know something's coming… But… What's coming?" Ichigo mused, worry evident on his ever-scowling face.

: I don't know, Ichigo, but you should get your rest until the hollow can tell you. : Zangetsu had an uncharacteristic hint of anxiety in his facial expression just before Ichigo was shoved out of his inner world.

Gasping Ichigo sat up, panting slightly. He could vaguely sense the spiritual pressure, but not enough to determine who or what it was. However, what was the most clear, was the fact that this spiritual pressure was not from Soul Society. His only thought as he slumped backwards was, 'This isn't going to be pretty... but what's going on?'

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><p><strong>AN:** Ick I hated doing that to Renji but it was neccessary to the plot! I love y'all, kisses xD

By the way, read and review, it inspires me to write more lol.

**And thank you to all my lovely supporters! Especially my reviewers:**  
><strong>Maru de Kusanagi<strong>  
><strong>DURRBALAAM<strong>  
><strong>Rock4Rox<strong>  
><strong>BBQkitten<strong>  
><strong>Bakura Apeiron<br>Loveable-Chelle23  
>Anna Mae 2243<strong>

**^Let me know if I spelled your name wrong, I'll be sure to fix it! And If you have questions feel free to ask, I've always got a way to get an answer to you!**


	5. You've Got A?

**Well** I don't have much to say about this chapter, but it does set up the plot rather well in my opinion. So I do say so myself hehe. If anyone wants to guess how, feel free. I'd probably enjoy all the guesses and I might even reply. Well, my muses don't have anything to say right now. I actually haven't heard from them since I finished this capter a couple hours ago, they left me to edit grammar alone... (I think they came out and admitted themselves to each other n' have been having wild bunny sex... but that's just me) Yep well... Oh they'd probably be forcing me into the discaimer by now... Damn.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own bleach, sadly, nor will I ever, as Shi's cruel words sting me to the core. Kyu was no help today QQ.

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><p>Blinking Ichigo walked into the Captain's meeting, vaguely registering that people were tense. However, he was quite calm, and he knew the current reason for their tenseness. Schooling his face to keep it from wavering from the ever present scowl, he smirked internally.<p>

"Kurosaki-taicho." Startled, Ichigo turned to face a dark eyed Kuchiki.

"Yes, Kuchiki-taicho?" Ichigo blinked and looked at his fellow captain.

"When you have the chance today… Come see me in my office. We have matters we need to discuss." Byakuya stated simply before he turned to walk to his place.

Ichigo merely nodded, hiding his look and ignoring the questioning glances from other captains. He strolled easily to his place, this time allowing a slight smirk to cross his features as he felt familiar reiatsu pulse in annoyance, however clearly on purpose it may be.

"Kurosaki-taicho." The head captain said, irritation evident in his voice. "You have visitors. Do you know who they are?"

"Not at all, sou-taicho." Ichigo feigned a look of surprise. He caught the glances of a few captains who looked at him with real surprise and annoyance. "Why did they not get sent to my quarters?"

"Kurosaki. You will explain to me how exactly you know the Vizards and you will explain it NOW." The head captain growled, fed up already. "Begin."

'I didn't want to reveal this this way but… I better go with the flow.' Ichigo thought. Outwardly snorting, Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Because I am one?"

Startled gasps emanated around the room and incredulous looks spawned from a few people. Renji, Rukia, Shuhei, Byakuya and Kenpachi were the only ones unsurprised and just nodded. The head captain sputtered. "What do you mean you are one?"

"I mean, simply, that I have this." Ichigo sighed. 'I knew it would come to this eventually.' He thought in a slightly pained acceptance as he past his hand over his face, calling on his hollow. His mask slipping into place even without being in Bankai.

"You've got a…" Mayuri trailed off, blinking.

"How long have you had this?" Ukitake and Soi Fon stepped forward, Soi Fon holding the hilt of her Zanpakuto and Ukitake with a curious expression, and said at the same time as Ichigo released the form. Blinking Ichigo looked up at the ceiling as he contemplated his answer options.

"Spit it out Kurosaki." Mayuri let out a low growling chuckle. Ichigo looked down at him with a blank, level stare.

"About 14 years, why?" Ichigo shrugged. "I thought you knew, I only used it during the winter war, and when I did that I didn't have my Hollow fully under control, but now Shiro's tame as a puppy, loves sparring with Abarai-taichou – at least used to-," Renji caught the barely noticeable change in tone, "and sits happily chatting in my inner world with my zanpakuto. Although, he is getting antsy, he hasn't sparred or had a good fight in a good 9 years, he doesn't like fighting the other Vizards."

As a shocked silence filled the room, Ichigo sighed. "KUROSAKI!" Ichigo sighed again, and looked up into the faces of 2 annoyed Vizards. "How dare your stupid ass go and die on us! We ought to beat you senseless!"

"Shinji. Hiyori. Long time no see." Ichigo snorted sarcastically. Ichigo saw the flip flop coming before Hiyori got it close to his face and stepped backwards, catching her hand as it went across. "I'll let you beat me with your shoe later, at the moment I'm kind of with my fellow captains."

Shinji grinned, and Hiyori looked shocked and angered that Ichigo could now catch her shoe of doom.

"Anyway. Sou-taicho, do you have any other questions?"

"Kurosaki Ichigo, the ban placed on the Vizards should be in place upon you as well, you do know that correct?" He said.

"That is correct sir." Ichigo smiled. "However, you could just lift the ban on the Vizards, and create a law about becoming one that also details the trials one would have to go through to become one and make it a rather trying process so we don't get too many of us, and even then we can judge who would make a good candidate. It would mean we'd have some stronger shinigami."

"I… I will consider this Kurosaki-taicho." The head captain said solemnly. "You will, however, keep a close eye on these two."

"Of course sou-taicho." Ichigo bowed slightly and turned to walk out of the meeting. Smiling a little bit to himself at the stunned glances from around the room and grinning at the look of approval on Byakuya's face. 'Looks like those little diplomacy lessons did me well.' Still grinning to himself Ichigo strolled out into seireitei, Shinji and Hiyori bickering about him a few feet behind him as they walked.

"Would you two stop fighting like children?" He rolled his eyes again.

"Hey! You haven't come to train with us in 3 years, then you go and die, don't act all high and mighty!" Hiyori growled.

"Yea Kurosaki, you should be glad we found the need to come see you!" Shinji pouted.

"Oh get over it. As I recall you both said good riddance when you found out I wasn't planning on coming back." Ichigo turned to face the two, a smile dancing behind his eyes as his scowl let up, just a little bit.

"We didn't' think that you were serious!" Hiyori spat. Ichigo smirked.

"Why didn't you come looking for me sooner?"

Hiyori just growled in response. Ichigo laughed outright at that, especially at Shinji's blank face.

"Okay you guys, how about a good spar?" He spoke, hoping to appease the beast that was Hiyori for even a little while. He almost smiled at the look of child-like joy that appeared on the small Vizards face.

"Yes!" She squealed, and then coughed, trying to hide the blush at such a display of emotion. Ichigo smirked.

**'Aibou!' **Shiro whined.

'Calm down Shiro, this is me getting back for how you acted when I was upset.' Ichigo mentally glared at his hollow.

**'But aibou, ya know I dun like sparring with them! I have ta hold back!' **Shiro whined again, more dramatically.

'Come on Shiro, we'll find someone for you to spar with soon.' Ichigo pressed.

**'Aibou… Ya 'member what I told ya the other night?' **Shiro whispered in his mind as they walked.

'Yea… What of it Shiro? I know it wasn't these guys you meant… But who?'

**'I couldn' tell… All I know is they aren' gonna be weak… They seem familiar.. But I dun know who they are… Watch yerself aibou…' **Ichigo could feel Shiro's worry and smiled. After they got over the initial king to horse routine, Shiro proved he was someone Ichigo could trust easily. After all, he was a part of him, and a part of Zangetsu. He couldn't afford to not trust him.

'I'll be safe Shiro, I promise.' Ichigo mentally smiled to his hollow, sensing the worry still etching their link.

XXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Renji blinked when Ichigo left the meeting. Shaking his head he sighed. The thoughts going through his head were rather simple in the respects of what they involved. It was either Ichigo was a stupid mother*** for thinking he could get away with what he just pulled… Or…

He was the luckiest damned man in the world because somehow the head captain was about to change his ways, because of a kid he doesn't even like, who technically shouldn't be a soul reaper, who got on his nerves to absolutely no end.

Now wasn't that simple? Renji groaned a little bit to himself as he moved to leave the room.

He relaxed as he walked through the pavilions calmly, making sure to move in a sort-of same direction as his orange haired counterpart. He looked up into the blue, currently cloudless autumn sky. The wind blew, causing the leaves of the trees that grew in Seireitei to blow off and swirl about the red-headed captain. He moved with ease into his divisions barracks, immediately finding his newest recruits soluting him and looking at him 2 parts fearfully and 1 part reverently. He'd already given his speech to them, and as it turned out he was viewed, in great likeness, to Zaraki Kenpachi. At least by those in his division. This thought caused a scowl to appear on Renji's previously calm features, immediately causing the newest recruits to scramble off to perform their duties.

Blinking Renji walked into his office, glad to find it empty for once. As he sat at his desk, he immersed himself in the strenuous task of paperwork, albeit reluctantly. However, he used the task to keep his mind preoccupied. He was still formulating his plan, but it was causing him a head ache, especially trying to anticipate his targets possible reactions to such moves. You could never know with the whorl wind that was Kurosaki Ichigo. Renji groaned suddenly, as a crashing wave of a highly familiar reiatsu rode over him. He knew any unseated shinigami would be brought to their knees.

Then he sensed the hollow taint and stiffened.

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><p><strong>AN:** Woo that was fun! However, can you tell I don't like the Flip Flop of doom? Probably not. But you try getting smacked in the face by a flip flop everyday (No seriously, my cousin does that to me and Kyu threw one of his at me the other day cuz I wouldn't give him my cookie!)

By the way, read and review, it inspires me to write more lol.

**And thank you to all my lovely supporters! Especially my reviewers:**  
><strong>Maru de Kusanagi<strong>  
><strong>DURRBALAAM<strong>  
><strong>Rock4Rox<strong>  
><strong>BBQkitten<strong>  
><strong>Bakura Apeiron<br>Loveable-Chelle23  
>Anna Mae 2243<br>thesleepless**

**^Let me know if I spelled your name wrong, I'll be sure to fix it! And If you have questions feel free to ask, I've always got a way to get an answer to you!**


	6. I Won't Hold Back

**Meg: **Y'all better love me! I decided to post this early incase life screwed me over and I couldn't update as soon as I'd like!  
><strong>Kyu: <strong>*walks in with Shi, limping slightly* glares at Meg*  
><strong>Shi:<strong> Tch so you post a chapter without us and then you go and write one without us too!  
><strong>Meg:<strong> Ain't my fault you guys were having wild bunny sex in your room. I told you 3 days ago my ploans for posting but nooo. ANd I couldn't wait to write and post this one so I did.  
><strong>Kyu:<strong> *indignantly* Who said we were having sex!  
><strong>Meg:<strong> I did. I heard those noises *smirks evilly* Plus, how often do you limp in here. You aren't the clumsy kind. And what else could have you limping other than you being made a cute little Uke!  
><strong>Shi: <strong>*glowers at Meg*  
><strong>Meg: <strong>*blinks* I know I'm right, I created you both, so don't try and hide it *grins*  
><strong>Shi &amp; Kyu:<strong> Whatever *Kyu pouts and Shi snorts, ignoring mage and kissing Kyu* Dobe.  
><strong>Meg:<strong> *turning from the scene grinning* I was RIGHT! And no sadly, I don't own Bleach... God I wish I did... T.T

**Warnings**: Action in this chapter, a little humor, and some sweet lovey dovey ness!~!

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><p>Ichigo huffed at the captains who had assembled in case of a hollow invasion. He'd already explained why they felt the hollow taint and they knew what it felt like. He didn't understand why they felt the need to watch and run around every time he chose to spar with the Vizards. He sighed in annoyance as he heard the cheers from Yachiru, the little pink haired lieutenant rarely letting up. Oh well crossed through his mind as he attempted to dodge Hiyori's strike. He miscalculated and the flat of the blade slammed him hard enough to send him flying and crashing into the cliff of Sokyoku hill. Panting, finally exhausted he rose and held up a hand to halt the assault.<p>

"Oi, Hiyori. I think I'm good for the day, I need to be in one piece to train division. I need to work with my seated officers a bit." Ichigo popped his shoulders, his mask still on as Hiyori slid hers away. She blinked at him thoughtfully.

"All right Ichigo. But I won't hold back next time!" He snorted in response and passed his hand over his mask, causing it to break away into little particles. He made his way slowly passed the captains, listening to little mutters, some of them approving and some more or less disdained. Well, at least one disdained.

"I want him as a test subject. Damn the head captain! Damn damn damn!" he heard Mayuri mutter under his breath as he passed.

Hours later, Ichigo found himself collapsed onto his futon, just about ready to close his eyes. He groaned softly as his muscles stiffened in protest. He shifted to find a more comfortable position, when suddenly his door burst open and he snapped to alert. He glared as he saw the red head stare at him from under loose hair.

"What the fuck do you want Renji." The chocolate eyed shinigami spat.

"Quick! Ichigo they need ya, shit the alarms haven't even gone off ya stupid man! Hurry!" Renji snapped and grabbed Ichigo. Startled by that, Ichigo grabbed Zangetsu, only to find his inner hollow screaming at him.

**'AIbou! It's them!' **Shiro screeched, his voice frantic. Ichigo ran after Renji, waiting for Shiro to continue. He heard the clashes of metal on metal and felt the rapid flares of Reiatsu, he didn't know how he missed it. **'Aibou! It's THEM it's—'**

Ichigo stiffened when he felt THOSE reiatsu's pulsing wildly in what felt like a battle dance. He gulped heavily. They were strong, incredibly strong. He didn't know what was going to happen. Then he burst into the open pavilion, and saw what he had most dreaded to see. He looked at the black and blue haired man, the latter of which was grinning madly, bodies littered in broken heaps around him already. The former was standing off to the side apathetically.

"Grimmjow…" Ichigo breathed, stiffening. Except… It wasn't quite Grimmjow. He was excessively more powerful, yes, but there was a change… Like a change in his being. 'What the hell,' Ichigo thought.

"Yo, Berry." Grimmjow smirked. "I came to tell you and your little friends personally, that your break is officially over."

"What?" Renji snarled viciously, hand on Zabimaru's hilt.

"He means simply, that the Espada are back. And our goal is you. Kurosaki." Ulquiorra stepped forward. "You are uniquely powerfull. You know you are not a Vizard, and you know you are not a Shinigami, and you are not yet quite an Espada. We do not know what you are, but we shall find out."

Ichigo's back stiffened harshly. Byakuya's previous words ringing in his ears.

_"Kurosaki-taicho, I'm glad you found the time to make it." Byakuya looked at him with a small smile. _

_"Of course, Kuchiki-taicho. May I ask what this is about?" Ichigo asked curiously, he'd already talked to Byakuya about why he was so friendly with him, the raven merely replied that he was atoning for mistakes and seeked to find a way to rectify his wrongdoings. Ichigo couldn't fathom what that had meant. When he'd asked, Byakuya merely expressed the idea that he would be told one day, just not by him._

_"I mean to ask you what you think of the Reiatsu that seem to be pulsing into Soul Society." The raven stated bluntly._

_Ichigo felt his muscles tense slightly. "They are faint, but I sense a familiarity to them. I cannot tell if they are hostile. I haven't trained enough in Kido to know that, I'm terrible with my reiatsu still."_

_"I assumed as much, however I must come to the same conclusion. We should still monitor it, but I do not yet think of it to be a problem that should be yet brought to the 1__st__'s ears."_

_"I see taicho. Do you have any other thoughts on this?" Ichigo asked, curiosity getting the better of him._

_"I'm not sure at this time, Kurosaki-taicho. However, I wish to implore you to be careful. Your division is still young with you. If this turns out to be a threat, do not hesitate to protect them, however much you do so though, must be done carefully." Byakuya motioned solemnly to the door. "I wish we could talk longer, we may converse on this subject the next time you come for what the head captain calls 'studies', I have a few meetings I need to get ready for, I'm sorry for this rather abrupt ending."_

_Ichigo merely cast a smile on the raven. "Think nothing of it, Kuchiki-taicho. I will be careful as needed. I wish you luck in your meetings, the dismissal is nothing. I shall see you." Ichigo left the room, the diplomatic words ringing in Kuchiki Byakuya's ears, however, Ichigo would never know how much those words struck the normally stoic captain._

Ichigo stared at the two, what should have been former, Espada. He blinked and relaxed his stance. "We'll see about that." With that statement, his hand was drawn over his face, pulling out his Bankai and hollow Mask in one motion. Renji jumped back, to avoid being hit with the wave of furious reiatsu that rolled off his fellow captain. He glowered at the two hollows.

"I won't hold back." Ichigo stood calmly, yellow gold irises staring out from behind a red and white mask. He rasied his sword calmly, arm stretched across his chest, and he spoke two words evenly. "Getsuga tenshou." With the endling syllable he slashed his sword, a quick, fast, devastating arc swung out and impacted right on the two Espada. And then it fizzled to nothing. Grimmjow laughed, throwing his head back as the sound rung outward, almost to loud for the eery silens that followed Ichigo's attack.

"I won't be taken down so easily, Berry." He grinned and was beside Ichigo. As he grabbed the young man, he broke the orange haired man's arm, and brought a knee up and slammed it into his ribs, cracking them in several places. Before Ichigo could fully even react, let alone start reacting, his face was brought down to the ground, his head snapping back from the impact with an almost devastating force, a fracture most likely running across the frontal lobe of his skull, if the split in his skin was any indication to go on.

"Oh, and you have 3 months before we take you, or you can come on your own. Tell anyone you wish, hell, even ready your forces for an all-out battle. But you will be ours or you will die, Berry." The infuriating blue haired man growled in Ichigo's ear. "Because like you, we won't hold back. And now, I give you a parting gift."

Ichigo couldn't lift his head, he was hanging limp, pain blinding him, simply because it was flooding his receptors and making his mind hazy. It was a lot to take within the space of seconds. But he could still feel the spiritual energy coalesce to a spot about a foot away from his stomache. He started to struggle. He heard that infuriating laugh again.

"Cero." Was the words he heard murmured and then there was just excruciating white light and pain. Before Ichigo slipped into blackness, falling to the floor, all he heard was that infuriating psychotic laugh, and Renji's scream of his name.

From that point he wafted in and out of semi consciousness. In one of these moments, he felt a warm, familiar hand in his, and he felt the soft drips of what felt like tears on his arm. He knew them to be tears, if the ragged breathing was anything to go on.

"Ichigo…" Ichigo's mind registered the deeper voice wafting through his darkness. "I'm so sorry I did what I did. I can't believe I was so stupid… I can't believe I let him manipulate me like that, even if it was supposedly for the best… It wasn't was it… But he threatened to harm you… Ichigo.. I still love you and I have… Just.. Don't die on me now… Unohana said you might not pull through… But after what they said I know you will. You wouldn't leave us like that Ichigo… Don't leave us like that!"

Ichigo's mind struggled hard against the restraints these horrid shadows put on him. He needed to draw towards that voice. Nagging doubt still roamed his mind, but he still felt the same as he did when it was ended. He was consumed by darkness and he blinked, but he couldn't open his eyes again. He struggled to lift heavy lids, the light blinding him almost. Yet he managed to speak one word in a hoarse voice before Unohana was called rushing in.

"Renji…" Ichigo groaned softly before the red head was ushered away, and he was consumed in the task of following Unohana's instructions for the next few grueling hours.

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><p><strong>AN:** I think I did awesome! And Shi and Kyu are smooching in a corner now, gosh I need a man! But that's besides the point lol. I hope you all enjoyed, it didn't take that long to write, editing kills me though!

By the way, read and review, it inspires me to write more lol.

**And thank you to all my lovely supporters! Especially my reviewers:**  
><strong>Maru de Kusanagi<strong>  
><strong>DURRBALAAM<strong>  
><strong>Rock4Rox<strong>  
><strong>BBQkitten<strong>  
><strong>Bakura Apeiron<br>Loveable-Chelle23  
>Anna Mae 2243<br>thesleepless  
>Rhea1305<br>LazyTurtle**

**^Let me know if I spelled your name wrong, I'll be sure to fix it! And If you have questions feel free to ask, I've always got a way to get an answer to you!**


	7. A Hint of Sorrow

**Meg**: I'm sorry it took me so long! T.T I had to find some inspiration for this chapter! It took me nearly 2 hours to write QQ! And my muses gave me no motivation to write... Which reminds me! My cast wants to say hi and mention a few things so that will be at the end of this chapter if you care to read it!  
><strong>Kyu<strong>: I like talking to Ichigo-san, he's pretty cool and I've never met someone with the same hair color as me!  
><strong>Shi:<strong> Kuchiki-taicho and Hitsugaya-taicho are interesting, although I noticed the latter has a temper...  
><strong>Meg:<strong> Well Toshiro-kun is like that *from outside the room you hear "That's Hitsugaya-taichou to you, Meg rolls her eye* plus it's no surprise you get along with Byakuya-sama, you and him are very similar... *shudders at the thought of having them in the same room later*  
><strong>Kyu<strong>: Meg-chan? Why do you insist on pissing of Hitsugaya-taicho?  
><strong>Meg:<strong>Cuz I can, plus he won't hurt me! *smiles brightly* He even agreed to letting me use him in What Happens in My House so I'm happy! Which reminds me to write that... Yumi and Jay are scary when they dun get their chappies... *blinks*  
><strong>Shi:<strong> Alright enough, let the readers get to the story! Discaimer: Meg doesn't own Bleach but it surely owns her, she finally caught up on it today... *eye twitches*

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><p>Ichigo relaxed back into the bed, Unohana having just left the room. Since he had woken, he hadn't seen anyone. He assumed it was because Unohana chose not to allow him visitors. He found out he'd been unconscious for 3 days, so deeply his reiatsu was almost non-existent. But now he could feel it surging out of him and he forced it to reign in, as it was constantly flaring towards the window of his room. He vaguely remembered the words Renji spoke while he was unconscious, and his heart pounded in his chest while he hoped it wasn't his imagination.<p>

Unohana had told him he was free to leave after a nights rest, nothing seemed unusual. He scowled at the thought.

**'Aibou… What do you think they mean that they want us?**' Shiro spoke**. 'I'm not sure I like the way that sounds… You know how they said we aren't anything? I don't know what they mean, I thought we were Visored? That's what the old man said, and still says.'**

'I don't know Shiro, I'm just glad I've got you here to be honest.' Ichigo mentally sighed, his brain running through all possible scenarios as quickly as he'd been trained to as a doctor. 'What I do know however is that we need to talk to the head captain.'

Ichigo started at the sudden warning bell that rang, signaling a senior officer meeting. He smiled a small, devilish smile, 'Perfect.'

Stretching slowly as he sat up and then stood, he tested out his reiatsu control by muffling it as best as he could, which turned out to be quite a lot, it was undetectable unless you were right next to him. 'Damn Grimmjow, he missed everything vital but took out my core of energy. The bastard.' Ichigo snarled internally for a moment. Then he shook loose his muscles and jumped out the window, heading towards the 1st divisions barracks.

He slowed down once he was outside the doors, he cast a glance at the guards that told them not to argue with him, his haori making them gulp audibly. As the doors swung open he strode in, his haori flaring outwards impressively. He took his place silently next to Kira, as Unohana started but chose to stay silent.

"Kurosaki-taicho. I was informed you wouldn't be making an appearance." The head captain stated calmly.

"If that's what Unohana-taicho said then I'm sorry but you were misinformed. We all know that I'm not going to lay in a bed while a meeting is in session." Ichigo said coolly. He caught Soi-fon's glare and ignored it, choosing instead to glance down the line of captains. Blinking calmly he caught Byakuya's gaze and nodded a slight answer to the unspoken question.

"Well this is a matter of what exactly attacked us 3 days ago. As the captains who were there – and injured –" Ichigo bristled at the slight insult. "Will Abarai-taicho and Kurosaki-taicho step forward? You were the only ones who would have caught a glimpse, as everyone else had no chance to see who it was." Yamamoto's hand ran over his beard lightly as Ichigo and Renji both stepped forward slightly to deliver their reports.

"It was the Espada." Ichigo said calmly. And Renji nodded solemnly.

"They decided they want Ichigo – I mean Kurosaki-taicho; they said that we have 3 months or Kurosaki-taicho will have to come to them or die."

Ichigo scowled a little bit. "That would be right before I was overwhelmed by his strength and speed and took Grimmjow's Cero to the stomach." Byakuya had told him a captain who withheld details endangered everyone. And judging by the collective intake of breath, his statement had caught them off guard. They all knew he was detained but they didn't know the extent of the damage. "Judging by the reactions of the room, you weren't told beforehand. The Espada are back with increased power. Also I noticed a change in their reiatsu. Not only was it stronger, it was altered."

Renji cast his gaze to the ground. "The reiatsu was highly similar to the unique signature given off by Kurosaki-taicho. Also, after Kurosaki-taicho was down and I rushed to assist him the Espada laughed and said that was all for now, the effects were about to wear off. The black haired one, Ulquiorra, looked back after they opened a Gargantua and told me that Kurosaki was one of them, the strongest one. When I asked what he meant, the blue haired one, Grimmjow, laughed again and told me that they found out how Kurosaki was the way he was… and followed in his footsteps. It is my small belief that they found a way to come back as something similar to Kurosaki-taicho."

With this block of information even Ichigo stiffened. The head captain nodded and looked at Ichigo. "I would like you to give a sample of your reiatsu to Kurotsuchi-taicho for him to study. We have some reiatsu residue left from the cero that was fired at –through – you." Ichigo scowled.

"I will." Ichigo reached into the pocket of his shihakusho and pulled out a needle and capsule, uncapped the needle and jammed it into his arm. After letting the capsule fill with the reddish liquid looking substance he pulled it out, capped the needle and handed it to Kurotsuchi. "I'm sorry but I will not be entering the Department of Research and Development any time soon, I got my fill of that a long time ago."

"I would like the captains to mull over this information, tomorrow holds another meeting in store, I would also implore you to keep this from the lower ranked Shinigami for now." The head captain said finally. Then with definite finality, "Dismissed."

"Hai sou-taicho." Was chorused from the captains and they turned and milled tensely towards the door. Once the door was closed and they were all outside, most everybody stopped and turned to stare at Ichigo and Renji. Ichigo sighed and looked at his former lover.

"Are we going to do this at your place or mine?"

Startled Renji could only stutter, "W-what?"

Sighing again Ichigo shook his head. "Mine then." He looked at the captains and smiled wryly. He was glad Mayuri was elsewhere by now. "Dinner at 6. Zaraki bring Yumichika and Ikkaku. I'm sending a soul page to Yorouichi-san and Urahara-san to tell them to be here or else."

With that Ichigo turned on his heal and strode towards the 3rd division barracks, calling out over his shoulder. "That means all of you, I'm cooking. Come on Kira! We've got work to do!"

The group stood there, slightly stunned. They cast glances at each other as Ichigo walked away, Kira catching up and following close behind. They all drew a collective intake of breath before they all yelled "What!"

The only thing they heard in response was Ichigo's ringing laugh, that unlike normal, was tinged with a hint of sorrow.

That night Renji was the first to arrive at Ichigo's home. When he got to the door he took a deep breath and entered after a faint come in was called from deeper within. He walked in towards the kitchen. The room was standard to all captains, so he knew the layout quite well. Blinking as he stepped into the kitchen he took in a sight to behold, at least that's what his brain told him. He fidgeted uncomfortable as Ichigo turned to him, chef's apron already being pulled over his head.

"Here." The orange haired shinigami said as he tossed the apron to the surprised captain. "Put that on the hook will you? All I need to do is fry these and dinner will be ready so I'm just going to set up the table and set the fryer in the middle so we can do this at our own pace."

"Uhh.." Renji scratched behind his ear. "Are you… sure you should cook? I-I mean when we were—uhh yea – you couldn't really cook very well…"

He winced in anticipation of an outburst and was met with a soft laugh. Startled He snapped his gaze up to meet the one barely feet before him. 'What is this… He could barely stand to be near me before… What changed? Did he… Did he hear me?' Renji's startled mind barely registered when Ichigo pressed his finger against his forehead, leaving a flour finger print there.

"After we… broke up, shall we say, I had Yuzu teach me how to cook better on the side, living alone you get quite hungry, and I can't survive on Ramen, although I did learn amazing things to do with it." Ichigo smiled and turned away to gather a tray stacked full of buns. "I made bbq pork buns, if that's okay with you… I remember it's your favorite."

Renji turned away and put the apron on the hook, nodding dumbly. Then, remember Ichigo wouldn't see such a motion with their backs to each other, stuttered. "Uh, yea."

When he turned back Ichigo was just getting up off his knees, and Renji caught the slight shine to Ichigo's eyes that indicated sadness, although the ex-substitute shinigami never liked to cry. Renji took two quick steps and grabbed the orange haired man gently. The other's lips parted in surpise and the red head pressed his lips to the slightly shorter mans, a kiss filled with a hint of sorrow and love.

"I'm sorry for what I did Ichigo…" He whispered when he broke the long kiss.

"I heard you the first time… I forgive you but you have to tell me everything…" Ichigo looked up, as a silent tear slipped out of the corner of his eye.

"Later…I promise…" Ichigo leaned up and pressed his lips against Renji's again, this time; there was no sadness, only love that was rekindled.

A soft cough brought them to reality and the broke apart abashed, and saw the shocked faces of Hisagi and Rangiku.

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><p>AN: That took FOREVER! Yay now I can get it actiony with some lovin! Whoot! ANd don't worry Byakya fans! I won't make Ichigo too mad... Just really upset... He has a cooler head now sooo! And now a word from our cast!

Ichigo: I just wanted to say that I was surprised! Not overwhelmed *sweatdrop as he crosses his arms and huffs*  
>Renji: Calm down babe, you're fine. It's just a story it didn't really happen. Plus, if I have to deal with my character being r-r.. .Yea that then I think you can handle this...<br>Byakuya: *scowling* I would never do something so disgusting or selfish or stupid... Just saying...  
>Toshiro: Why do I have to be here again? Oh yea, Tenno-san made me come *sighs* I should go put Matsumoto to work... She's been slacking... And no wonder! I'll have to talk to Shuhei-san...<br>Meg: Calm down To-shi-ro! *grinning widely* Anyway I'm glad you guys could make an appearance, I'll probably call you all again to answer questions! I'll see you later!

**And thank you to all my lovely supporters! Especially my reviewers:**  
><strong>Maru de Kusanagi<strong>  
><strong>DURRBALAAM<strong>  
><strong>Rock4Rox<strong>  
><strong>BBQkitten<strong>  
><strong>Bakura Apeiron<br>Loveable-Chelle23  
>Anna Mae 2243<br>thesleepless  
>Rhea1305<br>LazyTurtle  
>Mayuzu<br>NJay-Ficilist**

**^Let me know if I spelled your name wrong, I'll be sure to fix it! And If you have questions feel free to ask, I've always got a way to get an answer to you!**


	8. A Storm is Coming

Hey guys I'm so sorry for the long dleay, my school work was much more important to me, this is a hobby as it always will be. Thank you to the people who decided to stick with me and I hope you all enjoy this little chapter while I go work on some other stories. I hope now that it's summer I can get back and post a little more, and always remember I do love and so do Shi and Kyu, they just decideed it would be a nice time to vacation themselves! I can practically hear their indignation at that statement so I should probably stop before they curse me with voodoo or something lol. So again, Enjoy and please do review!

**OH! WARNING:** Fluffy smexiness nearish to the end and SPOILERS! I warned you now so please PLEASE don't flame me. I will most likely remove ANY flames and/or publically respond with my rebuttal, especially if it is in a review. If you have issues please PM me and don't take it up in a public review section.

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><p>Chapter 8: A Storm is Coming<p>

Ichigo flushed crimson when he saw the two standing in his kitchen doorway. He stepped back from Renji timidly and smiled at the two. However, that smile was wiped off his face as quick as he could snap his fingers when Rangiku flew forward and grabbed Renji's collar screaming.

"What the hell is your problem Abarai! You shouldn't lead him on anymore! You have serious issues you know that! I can't believe you would stoop so low!" She pulled him close and glared, sparks practically flying from her eyes.

Shocked Ichigo stepped backwards. Before he could react though, Hisagi was between the two and pushing Rangiku backwards. "Rangiku-chan! Calm down you don't know anything!"

"Like hell I don't! Ichigo's come to me a lot crying because of that tattooed bastard! Ask Rukia! She was there almost every time!" At this outburst Renji looked at Ichigo with wide, sad eyes. He shook his head and mouthed the words, 'We'll talk.'

"And do you know what Renji's been through? No, Rangiku-chan you DON'T so calm down and let THEM work this out on their own! Now sit down and stop yelling before everyone—"

"Else gets here?" Toshiro intoned softly, and behind him was standing a very stiff and straight faced Kuchiki, followed by the rest of the gang. Ichigo groaned and literally face palmed.

"Hey guys, I think we have more important matters than my love life so can we get over this and start planning?" Ichigo growled softly.

"Of course of course Kurosaki-san!" Urahara pushed past and strode in, followed by a dark skinned, purple haired, yellow eyed woman – Yorouichi. "Let's do this shall we! Ahh It's been a while since I've had your families cooking! Yuzu's been busy with her family and we all know Karin doesn't really care since she has the money to eat out!"

Ichigo merely grinned. "So I heard. By the way, I never got to say I was sorry for making you see that…"

"Ahh Ichigo what do you mean?" Yorouichi slung her arm around the new captains shoulders.

"Me dying…" He cast his glance downward and she shoved him.

"It's fine! Your still here – sort of – now let's eat!" She grinned widely and plopped down at the table.

Once dinner was done, everyone lounged in the living room. Some conversing lightly on what the former Espada had said, others content to stay quiet and listen, not having any real input.

"So, Abarai-kun, you said they claimed to be like Ichigo? How so?" Urahara asked, his question was chorused with a few yes's from the surrounding people. "Kurosaki-kun was half human half shinigami to begin with, and then he gained the hollow powers when he went to regain the shinigami powers! And then there is the fact he had a Fullbring… How does one copy such a thing…" He pulled up his fan in front of his face out of habit as he contemplated the phenomena.

"Maybe the Fullbring is what did it…" Hitsugaya mumbled. "I remember fighting that brat with the hand held game console."

"Yes. Didn't Ginjou steal Ichigo's Fullbring?" Byakuya's voice was almost missed, as it was almost only a murmur of wind.

"Maybe some of that power dispersed into Hueco Mundo… But I highly doubt that's possible." Yorouichi responded in turn.

"I believe you all forget the kind of power Kurosaki-kun wields." Urahara shut his fan with a snap. "A small fraction of his reiatsu outdoes quite a few many lower ranked officers in any division at any given time. In fact, if I recall, most Third Seats barely reach half that amount. His capacity is the same as the sou-taicho."

"It's really that high?" Ichigo muttered distractedly. "Why do I run out so fast then?"

"Simple really." Urahara grinned. "You don't control how much you use, really it is wasteful the way you fling it around."

Ichigo flushed and internally cursed the green clothed man. Renji had been oddly silent through the exchange, as had Rukia and most of the other usually loud Shinigami. "What do you guys think?" Ichigo said, addressing aforementioned people.

"Hmm." Was Rukia's response.

Renji merely grunted at the same time as Ikkaku.

It was Yumichika who said, "Well, we can't really say much as this isn't really our area. I believe you are most suited to figuring out this anomaly."

Ichigo sighed and stretched back, suppressing a yawn as he looked at the clock. It was nearly 12:30 in the morning and he had to be up by 6 to be at the division and get some paperwork done before anyone else showed up.

"Okay… We all have more time to discuss this… I think we should all part ways and try to think of as much as we can, the storm is coming… And we all need our rest." He accentuated the statement with a little yawn and a slow blink. He watched as everybody nodded in acquiescence and got up and ambled out the door and to their respective housing units or barracks. Renji was the last to start leaving, and as soon as Yorouichi found her way out the door Ichigo grabbed his hand to stop him.

"Is it time for that talk?" He murmured softly, avoiding looking directly into the very slightly taller shinigamis eyes, choosing instead to stare at the middle of his forehead between tattooed eyebrows.

"Yea… I have a lot to tell you, and now I think I can without breaking." Renji pulled Ichigo to the futon and they both sat down, Renji looking troubled and contemplative, Ichigo looking mostly just troubled. Then Renji took a deep breath and launched into what had happened.

30 minutes later found Renji staring wide eyed at the back of a very pissed off orange haired Shinigami. The redhead cursed internally and reached out a hand to grasp Ichigo's forearm. He turned the fuming strawberry to face him. As Ichigo glared at a point past Renji's head, Renji pressed his lips against the youngers. He kept applying pressure until Ichigo parted his lips and let his eyes slide closed. Renji internally smirked a little in triumph. Slipping in his tongue he started to carefully map out every part of Ichigo's mouth he could reach. As he did, Renji pressed closer and Ichigo's arms found their way to his neck.

Taking this as a sign of encouragement, Renji let his lips fall down Ichigo's chin, and slid them across the youngers jaw. There he nipped and flicked his tongue, earning a whimper from the orange haired shinigami. Renji walked Ichigo backwards to the futon and laid them both down, the red head started to nip and suck at Ichigo's exposed neck, then down to the junction of his shoulders and neck that was just barely covered by his uniform. There he left an angry looking red mark that was sure to bruise later. The whole time Ichigo was panting softly and running his hands up and down Renji's back. When he arched his back up a little bit, Renji knew he'd found the little soft spot that never failed to bring Ichigo to a whimper.

Renji pulled back and stared down into Ichigo's melted gaze. When his conscious caught up to him he groaned internally. He slid off the new captain and laid at his side, nuzzling into his neck, then he murmured softly. "I don't want this to be about sex."

Ichigo stiffened a little and Renji sighed and began to pull back. Ichigo wrapped his arms around the redhead. "Don't leave though. I don't want this to be about sex either but I do want you back. We'll do THAT when it feels right plus I don't want to pressure you into anything, or you to pressure me. SO we'll take it slow and let it come naturally… Even if this seemed natural." Renji tipped his head back and glared at the smirk he was receiving.

"I ain't a girl Ichi." He pouted a little. "Besides, I think you're right. It was a little too natural though. It's a bad way to start a relationship off, or restart in this case."

The two shinigami smiled at each other and Renji shifted up to switch places with Ichigo. When the younger was situated they pulled up the blankets and cuddled together, sleep coming easy enough despite the fact that a storm was brewing and they both knew it. This was the last good night they'd have for a while to come.

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><p><strong> AN:** This chap title makes me think of A Game of Thrones... "Winter is Coming" anyway I hope you all enjoyed and please if you have questions feel free to either PM or review and ask, even if it's a question that should be answered by the cast, they will... I'll make 'em lol.

**And thank you to all my lovely supporters! Especially my reviewers:**

**Maru de Kusanagi**  
><strong>DURRBALAAM<strong>  
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